The KH3 Song
Kabul, Kabul,
What a wonderful place to hash!
We have such fun, dodging the shit and trash!
The skies are rarely clear, but we have ice cold beer!
Drink it Down Down Down...


True Blue
Heres to the Hashers, they're true blue.
They are Hashers through and through.
They are pisspots, or so they say.
Tried to get to heaven but they went the other way.
Drink it Down Down Down...


A Solider
Asshol- Asshol-
A Soldier I Will Be.
To Piss- To Piss-
2 Pistols On My Knee.
For Cunt- For Cunt-
For Country and for Queen.
Asshol- Asshol- Asshol- Asshol-
A Soldier I Will Be.
Drink it Down Down Down...


If Your Girlfriend....(or Boyfriend)
[ to the tune of If You're Happy and You Know It ]
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, roll her (him) over.
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, roll her (him) over.
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, then it's probly not her (his) clit (dick).
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, roll her (him) over.
Drink it Down Down Down...


Chicago
I Used to Work in Chicago, In a Department Store,
I Used to Work in Chicago, I Don't Work There Anymore!
A Woman Came In for a Carpet.......
A Carpet from the Stooooooore......
A Carpet She Wanted, A Shag She Got!
I Don't Work There Anymore!
Drink it Down Down Down...

[ Variations:]
Shakespeare She Wanted / Dickens She Got
A Kit Kat She Wanted / Four Fingers She Got
Liquor She Wanted / Lick Her I Did
Meat She Wanted/Porked She Got
A Hammer she Wanted / Nailed She Got
Butter she Wanted / Spread She Got
A Ruler She Wanted / 12 Inches She Got
A Camel She Wanted / A Hump She Got
Water / All Wet She Got
Apples She Wanted / Her Cherry I Took
A Rooster She Wanted / My Cock She Got
A Surprise She Wanted / The Shocker She Got
An Encyclopedia She Wanted / My Index She Got
A Bannister She Wanted / A Railing She Got


The Hairs ("The Mayor of Bayswater")
[Chorus]
And the hairs... (and the hares)
And the hairs... (and the hares)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees.....
One black one, one white one, and one with a little shite on,
And one with a fairy light on, to show us the way.
Drink it Down Down Down...

[ Various Extended Verses:]
She's not a great looker, but everyone took 'er
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

You'd need a coal miner to find her vagina
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

If she were my daughter I'd have them cut shorter
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

She lived by the waterfront, with the waves lapping up and down her cunt
She married an Italian, who was hung like a fucking stallion
I folded her lips back, and there found a six-pack
It was always hit-or-miss, whether I could find her clitoris
They're so soft and spongey you can use them for a bungie
I reached into her thing, and there found my class ring
I flicked it, I licked it, I even drop kicked it
She says that she's not a whore, but she bangs like a shithouse door
The aroma it lingers, it smells like fish fingers
She stayed in Seattle, and went down on cattle
She came from Glamorgan, With a cunt like a barrel organ
It'd take a brontosaurus to eat her clitoris
It'd take a bloody wrecker to extract your pecker
It's like going through a forest, to find her clitoris

{Original start:}
The Mayor of Bayswater, he had a lovely daughter
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees


Why Were They Born
Why were they born so beautiful, Why were they born at all.
They're no fucking use to anyone, They're no fucking use at all.
Drink it Down Down Down...


They Ought
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot --(BANG BANG!)
They ought to be tied to the shithouse,
And left there to fester and rot....
Drink it Down Down Down...


Shitty Trail
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail,--(Shitty trail!)
Shitty trail,--(Shitty trail!)
The motherfucker hared a shitty trail!
I'd rather drink more beer,
Than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L
Drink it Down Down Down...


She's the Meanest
She's the meanest.
She sucks the horse's penis,
She's the meanest,
She's the horse's ass.

Ever since she found it,
All she does is pound it,
She's the meanest,
She's the horse's ass.
Drink it Down Down Down...


Dough, Ray, Me
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer.
Ray, the guy who serves me beer.
Me, the guy who drinks the beer.
Far, a long long way to the beer.
So, I'll have another beer.
La, I think I'll have a beer.
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer.
Which will bring us back to--
Drink it Down Down Down...


A Sailor
There once was a sailor who sat on a ROCK,
Shaking his fist and abusing his...
--Neighbouring farmer who was guarding his RICKS,
Teaching his children to play with their...
--Kites and their marbles as in days of YORE,
When along came a woman who looked like a...
--Decent young lady but walked like a DUCK,
Said she was learning a new way to...
--Bring up her children to teach them to KNIT,
While the lads in the farmyard were shovelling the...
--Contents of the pigsty, the muck and the MIRE,
While the lord of the manor was pulling out his...
--Horses from the stable, preparing for the HUNT,
While his wife in her boudoir was powdering her...
--Nose and preparing her vanity BOX,
Taking precautions to ward off the...
--Gout and rheumatics for well she recalls...
What did you think I was going to say?
Well, you dirty buggers, that’s all for today!